This is some deep stuff, t. Putting a face to 'him' it doesn't make any sense that the face I see is my Dad's. Well maybe it does make sense, although inaccurate, can something that's inaccurate make sense? Am I putting his face on 'him'? Perhaps it makes sense because where else would I get an idea of what my inner male should be like but from the first male authority in my life, or something like that. "He" is not happy with me, he's where all the negative thoughts about myself come from, oh yeah this is some really deep stuff, t and I don't wanna be working with it alone, last night during my journey I went to a very deep place inside myself, a deep place of calm, out there in the desert surrounded by friends and nature I felt safe from the feelings, and I need to remember how to find that place inside myself back before I start working with this again. I know I am a broken record but this is some of the deepest stuff yet, my dear t. I want to work on this with you Wednesday. May want you to drum for me. I love you.