Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind
I remember that pain... Went from the time I was 12 til I was 40. As you can see I still revisit it sometimes but now thats all it is - a visitation. I go months with happiness (stress too of course, life always has that) now whereas before all I saw was darkness and pain. What if you too get to this place at some point - but you robbed yourself of it too soon? Why not strive for the possibility of that reward?
|
You make a point I won't argue with. The funny thing is, I might not have a choice anyway. Maybe it's not so funny. The last time, when the news had been broken to me, the doc had tissues at the ready and a comforting hand on my knee. She looked so confused when I smiled. Then I laughed. I always said it was the best news for a person with a death wish to receive. Then I received it. Of course, I fought it then, the whole time thinking I had to do it for my fiance, mom and little brother. I didn't fight it for me. And no one cared why I fought it as long as I kept jumping through those hoops to get better. That's where everyone, including me, screwed up. Now, if it's back, I don't know if I'll fight. After all, what's the point in staying miserable?