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Originally Posted by unaluna
I think that you and your daughter talking about things is a positive and expected result of being in t.
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I agree!
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Originally Posted by ruh roh
I'm kind of surprised because the impression I've had is that you mostly complain about the things your therapist doesn't do or doesn't do well enough. So it's maybe more of a pattern with everyone?
That said, I do think that families tend to dis the older generation at gatherings. My mom used to report that she got parked on the sofa (according to her accounts--I never attended). But it has nothing to do with comparing that against the attention of a therapist whose job is to listen and be interested (and I'm not complaining about that--I love that I have the option for a therapist to talk to). It's just how I think a lot of families operate. Maybe you can blow their minds and take up a singing career or something--really make them re-think who you are.
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Your answer is surprising to me. I thought that I mostly have positive things to say about my T on here! If I don't come across that way, it is an eye opener for me! My kids say how negative I am, and yes, it's a trait I can't seem to change. My T is always trying to get me to see positives in my life. But I love my T! Do I really complain about her a lot?
I have to laugh about the singing career suggestion! Did you know I take voice lessons? I think I mentioned it a few times in posts! I'm not going for a career, LOL, but my family has heard me burst forth into song! It's fun!
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Originally Posted by stopdog
That has never been my experience of a therapist.
But I think families are different - my mother and I loved each other -but could only spend 3 days staying with each other. It might have been different if we ever had lived in the same city as both adults - because then each can retreat back to their own home.
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I love to be with my family in spite of my feeling left out. Grandchildren are a wonderful treasure for me! Yes, families are different.
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Originally Posted by RubyRae
Can T's Caring Set Us Up For Disappointment From Others?
I believe it can and does,but I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing.
For me,having someone that seemed like they genuinely cared about me,cared about what I felt and thought,treated me with respect,made me feel like I am important and actually mattered made me want and expect that same treatment from those around me.It made me realize I deserve that type of treatment just the same as everyone else.
I was then able to remove many toxic and abusive people from my life.
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My family are not toxic. It's not like that at all. I just wish they treated me as though I were important. It's not malicious on their part. My tendency to feel shut out has a lot to do with it. I need reassurance that I'm loved, and T gives me that.
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Originally Posted by Monarch Butterfly
I haven't been with a therapist long enough to know about caring. I know my family (siblings, dad, mom) act like they dont care about me. Their actions and words. Abusive.
So when someone shows care towards me it makes feel their is hope and I'm worthy.
RubyRae pointed out it ables you to remove toxic people from your life.
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I'm sorry your family is abusive. Mine isn't; they are just busy with their own lives. I'm grateful that no one is toxic. It's a more subtle feeling of being disregarded and . unimportant. That's why I wonder if I'm expecting too much. I also need to work on my treating them the way I want to be treated, especially my daughter. I'm going to talk to my T about it.