I admit I've struggled with this a bit too, particularly with marriage counselor and H. Like if I'm crying in the middle of session, MC often will be trying to calm me down (using his voice and body language--no touch or anything) while H is just sitting there, looking at me. And that's how it usually is when I'm upset at home, too. So it felt like MC cared more about me being upset than H. But that's also just in those 50 minutes a week (and occasionally on phone/text/e-mail). And he's trained to show his caring outwardly--H cares but just isn't good at showing it. Plus H is there dealing with me all the time.

The thing with a therapist is that it's a one-way relationship. They care about and put their full attention on their clients. And don't expect that attention back. So...just out of curiosity, are you trying to show your family lots of attention and caring? Because I know that's one thing with my H, I expect all this caring from him, but then there is other stuff he's looking for from me (not the same as what I'm looking for from him--referring to stuff like keeping house clean, appreciating him, etc.). So I guess make sure you're also trying to meet your family's needs? Again, I struggle with this some, too, so this is not me being critical at all. Just giving you something to think about. If you're there for them all the time and not getting anything back, then yeah...that's on them for sure. Hugs...

Therapists are not like real-life relationships, and it's probably something to keep in mind. Therapists, like it or not, are paid to sit and keep us in their undivided focus. Their job is to listen to our problems and perhaps provide feedback and support (depending on what we use them for). They have no real personal stake in our lives. They aren't related to us, so they aren't actually part of our real-life story. They (hopefully) have a skill set that involves active listening, objectivity, and positive regard.

Our families and friends are none of the above. They are part of our history with very clear biases about us and they are going to let us know about them. They are going to be real with us whether we like it or not because those relationships are not paid and not professional; they are personal. The personal boundaries and family dynamics are very different than those with a paid therapist. Our family and friends generally don't want to be our therapist, and quite honestly, I don't want to be theirs either. I'll listen and support family and friends to a point, but there is a point at which some things are just too much. It's important to remember those limitations. It isn't because they don't necessarily care, but often is more about really having their own limitations about how much they can personally ingest of other people's baggage.