I wrote up this long and lovely list of things and lost it... so here is the shorter version...
I wrote this to her some time ago:
Quote:
And.. yeah, I do care about you... ... And yes, I know.. I don't know you. So how can I care for you? We have been working together for about a year now, and maybe it is just a projection, I feel like I have a general understanding of your compassion, your energy(?). Additionally, I care a great deal about what you bring to my life. I don't need to know very much about you personally to know that you have and are making a big difference in my life and I don't want to lose that. Maybe that is a selfish way of looking at things, and I hope it doesn't come across as callous, but isn't that what the caring is in relationships. Caring for the other person because they bring something to your life that you treasure. And I believe you do bring more than just your job duties to our relationship. I almost believe that I demanded you bring more to this relationship than just your job duties. But again maybe this is projection... and maybe I'm good with that.  I feel and believe that it's not just projection.
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I could add to the above statements... my life is better by having her in it. I feel this holds true love as well as caring.
I love her for many different reasons (characteristics) at different times and by different parts of me. I do have maternal transference going on and in those moments, the love is a pure innocent unquestioning love that a very young child has for their primary caregiver. At other times, it is the feelings I have from the communication (mostly nonverbal) that occurs between us. And that smile.