Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Thats a good point. If LT is reenacting the scenario of her dad, with MC, its not the reenactment of a failed scenario but now with a "magically delicious" ending that heals.
Its building a NEW relationship (like with T) that never goes down that reenactment path to begin with. My t likes to say, "when you come to a fork in the road, take it!" (He loves Yogi Berra. But now i get why he likes this saying of his!)
But its those little forks that BUILD a DIFFERENT relationship AWAY from the usual reenactment path. Once youre on the reenactment path, theres no resolution - theres only walking away.
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Funny, as I was driving home from session (more on that in a bit), I was thinking something similar. (Oh, God, I'm thinking like Una...Good thing I see T in the morning!) That maybe resolving transference is NOT having a relationship with a male authority figure where I don't end up getting abandoned (not that my dad physically abandoned me--that's more with some others in my past, like that teacher from my dream). Because, i mean, there's no real way to prove to someone that you'll never abandon them, except, I guess, to be standing there at their deathbed or something.
So maybe resolving transference for me is different. One thought I had was NOT letting the authority figure have all the power over me. Yes, this could mean me leaving first so I don't get abandoned. But in a more healthy way, sort of using the relationship to become more confident in myself, and seeing that person as almost more of, say, a mentor, a coach than a capital-A Authority Figure. Like maybe he could help guide me, but he doesn't decide whether I'm worthy of not being abandoned (I'm sure I could word that better). Or whether I'm good enough (or smart enough or...) Damn it, now I want to e-mail him about it, but I said I'd do my best not to e-mail. So I will talk about it with T tomorrow and tell MC on Monday. Or type up an e-mail that I won't send.
Hm...perhaps I'll make a thread about this. Hoping the mods won't move it to Romantic subforum, because this is paternal stuff...