SI can be so awkward and complex. I only told my H once (had kept it to myself for decades) then went to a psychiatrist for the first time. Later, when the children told me what he had told them about it, I worried that he was causing them massive anxiety (looking back, maybe I should have also been more cognizant of the anxiety he was feeling) plus, when I attempted, their was an element of aggression towards my husband when I acted. Our spouses can bring out both the worst and best aspects of our personalities and MI.....