You guys are really helping me feel less alone - thank you

I think what I'm beginning to realize (or admit to myself) is that the problem is much broader than how my husband reacts to depression and suicidal thoughts. I can't stop comparing how things used to be to how they are now. I looked at him as my savior in a way. He was my anchor. Plus he was totally head over heels in love, and did lots of stuff to let me know (like sending little notes in the mail every day). The first time I got depressed with him he was perfect. Now it's old news. And I guess so am I.

Which brings me back to my original thought of leaving him, because it's better to be lonely alone than with someone else.