I don't think just disappearing is a very stand-up way to treat someone who was as supportive as this lady was toward you in August, when you were in crisis. Neither do I think that she deserves for you to get confrontational with her by letting her know you think she has let you down in the friendship department.

You are emotionally needy. Welcome to the club; I am too. We tend to wear people out with our neediness. So along comes a nice person who seems to think something of you and was there for you when you needed support. Her dilemma is that she is interested in you, but she doesn't want to reinforce your neediness. I've been in both your shoes and in hers. Pepole have seemed to withdraw from me, and I have withdrawn from others, when neediness got to be a bit much. Being engaged conversationally, or otherwise, with someone who is emotionally needy can feel like having the life sucked out of you . . . and it gets boring. I've done it to people and got cut off by them. I used to let people do it to me, but got to where I don't anymore. There's only so many minutes in my life, and I want to live those minutes in a way I find worthwhile. If I find someone in crisis, and I offer them a shoulder and a hand, that doesn't me I want them glomming on to me repeatedly in a way that becomes draining and boring. I've done that to people, myself. I had to learn that it turns people off, even people who do genuinely love me. Depression, for me, is a chronically recurring challenge. But I now understand that, if I want friends to be chronically ministering to my affliction, then I'm going to drive people away and have no friendship in my life. Even with my significant other, I keep finding out that the amount of talking about depression that I'ld be inclined to do is a good bit more than he is willing to listen to. So, yes, I have to just stuff it sometimes, so I don't wear him out.

A cross-gender friendship can be a touchy situation. One party may feel a potential for romance. The other party wants to be careful not to be guilty of leading someone on, just to have them be hurt. So I think this woman is caring of you, but has concerns on a number of levels that she wants to avoid reinforcing unwelcome behavior. She doesn't want you developing a big romantic crush on her. Also, she doesn't want you putting her in the role of being your amateur therapist.

If you do have romantic yearnings for her that are not reciprocated, then it would possibly be best to gently disengage. But if that is not a big pending stress, then I would cultivate this lady's goodwill and maintain the aquaintance, even if you're not destinned to be bosom buddies.

If this woman has a job and a daughter (even an 18 yr old one,) then an hour a month is actually a sizable chuck of her time. Ask yourself if maybe encounters with you perhaps get a bit gloomy. You need to understand that anyone is going to avoid that. When we're depressed, we tend to get a bit self-absorbed. That can make us very boring to be around. People gravitate toward what improves the quality of their lives, and this lady is no exception. Maybe you could express an interest in attending one of her daughter's dance performances. Even if dance isn't particularly your thing, you could offer yourself as an escort to an upcoming event that she might, otherwise, be attending alone. Make yourself fun to be with. Let her daughter be the focus of attention.

I have a "friend" who never wants to be in a group situation. She only wants to be with me in a one-on-one context, where she has my undivided attention. She gets annoyed if any of her friends tries to get her to a gathering of 3 or more. She likes to meet me for lunch, but never will accept an invitation to be with me and my boyfriend. I wouldn't be giving her my undivided attention, so those kind of invitations don't interest her. She'll never drop by on holidays when I invite her because other people are here. That's an unhealthy way to pursue friendship. Look for opportunities to see this woman in a group context. Then make yourself a cheerful participant in the group.