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Old Apr 24, 2017, 07:27 PM
ruh roh's Avatar
ruh roh ruh roh is offline
Run of the Mill Snowflake
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: here and there
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Maybe I misunderstand parental transference, but I thought it was projecting onto therapists the image or shadow of a person's real life parent(s), which, if left unaddressed, is typically harmful in that it keeps the person attached to dysfunctional patterns.

So, in my case, if I were to have maternal transference, I would see my therapist as predatory (I do not) and someone who is unpredictable and fearsome (both of those are true at times). My work would then be to use that transference to understand the dynamics I keep creating, to pull the present apart from the past and find my own stability and sense of peace without placing it in someone else's power.

In your case, it seems that your MC is where you go feel better, safer, reassured that you are okay in the world. Maybe the transference is that your father did that for you or he did the opposite--caused anxiety and fear. The idea (based on my own rinky dink understanding of transference) would be to learn how to do that for yourself instead of relying on others to be your center, the result being a reduction in anxiety and increased emotional stability that comes from the inside, not outside. And that is something you don't need MC to do, as EM pointed out. Your therapist can help with that. And you can test it out by seeing, over time, that you need reassurances and calming from your MC less and less.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight