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Wounded,
I am in a similar situation, except that my husband hasn't punch any wholes in the wall, yet. I am just so tired of the anger. Even when he is in a relatively good mood its F this, F that, and endless put downs and idle threats to the kids. I just have had it but I can't seem to make the ultimate move to separate. I admire you for putting your foot down and refusing to take it anymore.
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"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach)
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