I am safe but not doing well. I had hoped going back and asking if we were ok would help. Maybe too soon but I was trying to avoid emailing you. I'm shaky sad, scared, rocky, want you, want to email you. F * c k, I wish I would have stopped myself. I wish I wouldn't have shared. I wish I could take it all back. scared, so scared. I wish there was some way to erase this session, at least the last half. You weren't supposed to be told that stuff, I don't know why I let it out. I'm sorry, so sorry. hide. I feel like the boat has capsized. I don't know how to make it feel safe, how you can help make it feel safe, .I don't know. Please on Wednesday... take the ball... please let this side crawl back in its corner of my psyche. Can you let me know that...you don't see me as a monster... how will I believe you when I can't believe myself? I don't think I will be able to face you on Wednesday or maybe better statement is I don't know how I am going to face you. No plans to cancel, but I want the earth to swallow me up - disappear.

I am so sorry, so sorry,