at first i was going to say... just stop clicking on it Moonkin... but that is just to simple and really doesnt address your concern... i have to give a personal story of my own and hope it helps in some way..

i was addicted to gore, true, murderer/serial killer books , tv, documentaries, anything i could my hands on... very disturbing and at the time (must of read about 300 of these books) i couldnt understand why myself... my ex-wife thought i must be a closet rapist...

really made me examine my own motives and didnt understand for the longest time...

the books were facsinating to me.. couldnt get enough, but at the same time, i was sickened..

couldnt stop though.. why, why, why?

about 5 years ago, i just up and quit reading this genre altogether.. cant even stand to see it or imagine it...

these books were very graphic, professinally written, factual and scientific...

i was learning, thats what it was...

i had some deep need to understand the psyche of a serial killer... why?

well, because we all have to deal with it everyday...

i guess my subconscious took over and made me learn, comfortable or not..

that is wmy (i presume) you cant keep your self from these forums... you need to learn...

when you've learned what you are seeking (consciosly or sub-consciously) i predict you will stop reading...

best to you Moonkin... your honesty really affects me...