There's a difference between blame and responsibility. Learning skills to enhance the ability to be self-responsible is fine. I learned skills to drive defensively to decrease my odds of getting into an accident. But all the defensive driving skills in the world are not a guarantee against a crazy driver. If I drive to the best of my ability, and get into an accident because of another person's irresponsible driving, I am the victim. To suggest that the scene could be rewritten to a different result only based upon changing my actions, is nonsensical. Changing my actions might improve the odds (or not), but it doesn't absolve the other party of responsibility.

An examination of adult behavior in any situation can be useful. But when such an approach is applied to past behavior, and the focus is on trying to hypothetically rewrite the past by "correcting" a victim's behavior, the emphasis has shifted from responsibility to blame. Nothing valuable comes of blame.