This is an interesting subject. I'm having similar issues, and sometimes I think that when in those states of depression/ anxiety (and anger which I have a lot repressed) I just don't let people close. It's almost impossible to feel the caring because I'm waliking around with a "go away you can't understand me anyway" note on my forehead. In the same time I hope they will come and stay with me and listen and understand.
I'm not sure logic works when in high anxiety mode. Maybe what helps is to be aware that we are in a very reactive mode where we push people away because it is more possible for them to hurt us then to help us.

I think people do reflect back my attitude towards them so when I keep them away but still want them close in the same time, it seems to me that people only care from a distance.
Which is how I feel lately.

Sometimes I open up to people and it helps for a while, some care and that feels great for a while (some don't and then it's horrible to feel the invalidation). Or maybe both care, just they don't know how to show it? Some people learned to "care" by saying "others have it worse" or "it's nothing to feel bad about"....Unfortunately myself included.