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how do you turn it around and say, well, here's your chance to treat yourself how you have wanted to be treated, but you can't because you have it in your head you're bad and terrible.

do you know what I mean[/QUOTE]

I know exactly what you mean. All I can say from my own experience is; I've been in therapy for 4 years & have had EMDR 2 years ago & about to have more. I have only very recently started to feel that 'some' of me is actually not totally disgusting, dirty & unlovable & actually, when I acknowledge my little inner person, that's usually the times I'm more positive. I know it takes time, but I'm further along my journey to recovery, but doubt if ever I will love 'all' of me!