I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I feel that way about the way I've spent the last 13 years. Are you seeing a pdoc that could prescribe something for your anxiety? If not a pdoc, what about your primary care provider? Do you think therapy is something that might help you come up with a game plan to take baby steps? I know you don't have a job so would your parent's help pay for it? Hugs coming your way.