i did talk to my therapist about d.i.d... and she said it may or may not be but one thing is for sure you have developmental trauma disorder
she also said i have strong borderline traits/tendencies..
i will talk more to her about it next time... i trust what she says more than the NP because i have talked to my T longer and more...

the psychologist that did my psychological assessment said i have MDD,GAD,PTSD,Somatization disorder,ADHD

the first Psychiatrist i went to diagnosed me with Bipolar I
the first doctor ever dx me with depression and anxiety disorder..

i have had so many different diagnosis... i trust what my T says... but not the NP...
i strongly feel its borderline... i dont know if i have d.i.d. or not... but i have other personalities... that take over... that are seem to be not me.. although im so unsure of anything anymore i dont know... i have conversations with these other personalities, sometimes they are 1 sided conversations such as me getting cursed out... other times im given advice and comforted... but i dont know what it is... i dont want to claim d.i.d. if i dont have it because i feel like it would be insulting to the people that do have it... and im so confused about what is going on with me i cant say for sure whats going on... i mean i dont even know if im alive... if this is some kind of prison that im in for something i did ages and ages ago... if this is hell.. ect..ect...

im depersonalized to the max... im not inside the body a great majority of the time but seem to influence it the most... until something happy takes over and plays... but since im sober its gone... since i am stopping from drinking.. ive had to resort to only thing i know to cope because i seem to be all alone now... cutting...

and no offense taken, but i honestly am not choosing this... i want to get help... im trying my hardest to get help... i just dont know who i am anymore... much less able to remember when i get in stressful situations that are high anxiety such as discussing my diagnosis or my problems... i dissociate alot my therapist says... and im trying to stop.. but i cant...