OH my god, I scare myself...
See what I'm saying about the mood shifts? or Emotional Instability?
or what ever in this world this is?

I'm feeling so different, I am not that.
I dont even want to cry for that girl he lost..
Or this part of me that feels so suicidal.
mood.
personality.
bipolar thing..
Whatever it is!

I see the evidence all over the place all the time and just convince myself its me being really crazy but I'm starting to feel like there is just no way, you know what I mean?

We are too separated... maybe too compartmentalized personalities this body has, or more, which isn't a case of d.i.d. but I dont know what you would call that, OSDD?

I apologize.. But please understand the frustration and pain that I suffer because of this confusion... My life, I am not able to have a life.

I try to talk to the doctors but I dont really know whats going on you know... I try so hard... I need to just get the therapist to read this if she will.

Part of me is scared to ask, I dont know why.. But I'm going to see anyway, I see her on the 3rd.

Maybe that's why I feel better, maybe its just a bipolar thing.. But its hella confusing to put it one way. Extraordinarily painful to put it another..
Now I have cuts that I dont want.. Idiotic...