yeah I'm going to guess you let it out that you didn't want anything to do with the meds. i have done the same I'm not judging you. but if that's the case then a pdoc will tell you he can't help you because basically they do med management
you also mention BPD which can lead to the rapid cycling of moods you describe. hopefully you have a good therapist?
keep safe!
__________________
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
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