My sympathies. Crap, like that's anything, but how to start? I get that too. Sometimes only at night, but then if nothing interrupts it, it seems to gather momentum and volume. For as long as my vigilance holds out, my ability to regard it all like I might so many annoying mosquitoes, i'm ok, but when it starts to crumble, the desperate feeling is all but too ready to take over.

I found two things to help me, I know nothing works for everyone, but if I could help you at all I would, so for what it's worth:

before its loud, if I turn on a radio station playing something I don't like or am not interested in (for me a jazz station works, i don't understand jazz and don't tend to focus on it, it stays background) anyway, sometimes I can fool my anxiety by letting the voices become the radio, which I tune out without anxiety. I'ts a stupid trick I suppose, and perhaps my own brain is only the size of chicken's, but sometimes this works for me. Especially in the beginning.

the other thing is olonzopine (sp?). I was trying to check myself into the the p ward at the VA once when I was craving oblivion more than I could bear, they had no room, but an hour after taking the olonzopine I could think again, and feel calm and quiet. It's the only one i've ever had that worked "NOW," instead of in six weeks or so. There are lots of anecdotal histories on line to read of similar experiences. If you keep taking it there are side effects and so on, but as an hour of need, safety plan, I find it indespensible.

Hang in.

I freakin love your icon.