@Music-mum - Maybe not the way I am wanting.

@Rose76 - How do you figure that?

@Bill3 - Yes, i'd like if she initiated more. If I didn't know what to say anymore and she never messaged me or even called me would I just wait forever and let her end the friendship because I never heard from her anymore? i'd have to do all the work, makes me feel like I want more then she does that way. What if she never calls or texts me again? it's been 3 weeks, never gone longer then 2 but that's because I told her I would message her then. She told me before she does not like texting much, can't really talk on a text. I'd text her now but I really need to get away for a while and stop worrying about this. I got stuff I have to do, I figure she will still be around in say December if I decided to then start messaging her again. I gave her a mug for her xmas present, she uses it everyday and has never got a mug with her name on it before and it was her favourite present she's gotten so i'm sure she would think of me when she sees that.

@Rose76 - Well I broke down because I broke down as I could not take it anymore, but she asked me if her leaving was part of the reason why I was sad? told her it was. Not to make her feel guilty, but she wants me to always be truthful and honest (her words) with her. She did not victimized me, I was just sad someone I liked having around, someone I have worked with for 11 years was leaving and I was never going to see her again. Her leaving was just a small part of my meltdown.

@Prefabsprout - She's got 2 daughters (one moved far away and she's 21, the younger one that's 18 lives with her), works full time with hours that leaves her little to no time to hang around people, her ex boyfriends (father of her 2 kids...been together since high school) mother passed away last month and I told her i'm always here for her if she needs someone to talk to. Helping her ex boyfriend out, they have a family of mental illness and things happening. We always have a good time together when we hang out and it feels fine, she actually wanted to go to the beach with me to walk around and talk and I told her in the summer time we can grab a coffee and walk along the beach and she agreed to that, wont be happening though. I freak out from the text thing because if I never text her i'll never hear from her ever again.

@Trippin 2.0 - Isn't closeness or close relationships being around those people as often as you can? I'd just like to every now and then have her call me or text me because she wants to, not because she has to (as in because I want her to). My therapist tells me to be around my friends atleast once a week or more if I can. It just seems like it's impossible to hang around anyone. She also thinks that she would want to hang around me if I am important to her. I got people telling me she has bigger priorities then me and that she's busy, I got other people telling me if I was important to her she'd make time for me? I dunno what i'm supposed to believe, maybe I am right and the world is lieing to me. I once sat on a rock next to the beach for 3 hours and came back from the rock nobody cares, they just want to make themselves feel better and that the world is lieing to me. I don't get what's going on, what i'm supposed to believe.

@Justafriend306 - I've looked both up, they both apply whatever that means. I'm pretty sure her idea does not match mine, she sees this 1 person 1 time a year and says that's her friend, so maybe my idea of a friend is much different then hers? she seems she much rather spend time with her family then her friends.