Hi to you both Perna and mckell. First let me say, mckell, I am concerned that you would stay considering the level of your husbands verbal abuse. My husband has never yelled at our kids, never mind swearing at them. Just the fact that he was screaming, and swore at me when they were here is enough for me to say enough. I will not have that behavior as an example for my kids. You should think about the damage he is doing to them, not just you.
Perna, you are so right, my husband trying to seek help is encouraging, but this isn't the first time. He goes to counseling and either tells the therapist trivial things, or lies. He is the type to pretend everything is OK, and thinks that if he ignores things they will just go away. He has this "image" of himself that he's created, and for anyone to think his life is less than perfect is not an option.
I love him very much, and know he is a decent person, just VERY damaged. It's hard for me not to reach out to him yet again, but I keep telling myself, this time you have to let him reach for you. I don't want him to beg me to stay out of desperation, I want him to ask me to be his friend. I want him to open up, and for the first time in his life, be totally honest with someone. I want him to find himself, not wait for me to figure it out for him. Does this make any sense?