T,
so I didn't call you today. didn't have time bc today was so incredibly busy. And tomorrow will be busy as well and Thursday also.

Am I feeling better? not sure. I'm less in touch with myself and with my feelings. There's numbness - this feels familiar. Not sure where this will lead us.

The next session is in a fortnight, due to the 1st of May. Holidays suck. By then I will be completely detached from everything. This is how I cope. this is how I've been coping for the last 40something years. You've been asking. Here is my answer.

Am I running away? Avoiding? Probably. But I don't see any other option unless I want everything to colapse on me again. And i'm not ready for that.

So I won't phone you. I'll cope somehow. My anger will have been gone by then anyway.

And I'll see you in a fortnight. Take care.