What was his relationship with his parents like during the 10 years that you knew him before your marriage? I am wondering whether he has lifelong training, from childhood on, in placing his parents' wishes before anything else.

Was that the plan: to live with his parents between your out-of-state jobs? If not, what was the plan and how did that plan get abandoned?

No you are not a bad person. Your expectations are reasonable: It is reasonable to expect a partner in marriage to prefer to live with his spouse and not to prefer to live with his parents. This is not jealousy. This is asking for what you are entitled to and were led to expect would happen.

What makes him want this, as opposed to wanting to be there when you need him? For example, are his parents ill?

Well if you give up your career and your desire to live alone with him, then he has already chosen his parents over you.

After he told you we would move based on where I get job because all we ever wanted is to stay together, you have every right to be hurt and upset about his post-marriage behavior and change of heart. I'm really sorry for the pain that you are experiencing.

Have you been able to discuss your feelings about the situation with him, and if so what did he say? Would he consider couples counseling?

If he is going to insist that he needs to go back home to keep his parents happy, you may want to ask yourself whether marriage to him is going to be what you reasonably expected that it would be. How willing are you to be a lower priority for him than his parents for the rest of their lives?