T,
Tomorrow is the day. I don't want to go. I'm scared. I feel vulnerable and fragile. I want to make the most of this day. I am excited to be getting my rock and card. (It better be a pretty rock!) And I'm excited, embarrassed, and anxious about giving you my gifts. I hope you don't think I'm pathetic! Most of the stuff is made because I think you'd appreciate that more than a store bought gift. But I don't want to come off childish either (though it is child-like). I'm not looking forward to the month without you. You say everything is going to be okay. It's hard to trust you right now. You're in a sense pulling away from me. I mean, if everything works out the way you think it will, then yeah that would be great. My fear is you leaving and how stable can I be on my own.

Please please please don't leave me!