Dear Montana --

1. Only you can decide whether to leave or stay.

2. Cut off the credit cards and any other sources of co-debt.

3. Get counseling and/or go to Al-Anon.

4. Start to set up plans for leaving: are there friends or family you can stay with during a transition? Can you get a job? Work from home? Graphic artists can make pretty good money in this date of the net and telecommuting.

I'm a long-term recovering alcoholic. I've heard so many people say that they got sober because they wanted to keep and get back their families. I was a single -- and honestly, I felt as if I had "nothing" to live for because I didn't have that support. However, in the end HE has to WANT to keep his family. HE has to come to that decision himself. Threatening that you will leave is unlikely to be enough. Especially if he's heard the threat many times before.

best wishes for making a better life for you and your baby.