Yeah I have an issue too with you telling your wife that it's VERY important that she loses weight!
Gee any pressure there? Are you a great catch yourself? Very superficial!

Now Breadfish asked about you talking about having an open marriage. Since you've already discussed your desires then maybe you could talk about rules for an open marriage & put poly on the table. Of course this conversation could tank your entire marriage if you don't handle it properly.

If you still have desire for your wife maybe you need to change things up a bit in the bedroom. Or go on a blind date with her. Act as if you've never met & see if the attraction is still there.

If this is affecting your ability to go out in public it's pretty serious.
If you would take this a step further & say, have a fling, have you thought about what would happen next? How you'd feel? How the other person would feel & how you'd feel toward your wife?
Having an affair or fling or casual sex usually fails bec most don't think past the actual act.
What r you really looking for? The desire of being wanted? Power? Just sex? Find what you're really looking for & then make some decisions