Hi glamslam

I'm really sorry for the situation you're in right now
And if only there were a magic pill.......but...........

The med combo you were on may have been good before.........before you've had this thrown at you..........before you've had the situation with the family member going on...........but it's natural that this is going to have an impact on you, so maybe not so good now??
Maybe you could talk to your pdoc more about the problems you're having for a review of your meds..........it might even be that they can alter the dose/times, or give you slower release medication to get past the problems with keeping on schedule........but just a thought.........

With your T, I get where you're coming from, afterall she can't change anything, right?!
But it could still help to explore your feelings a bit with her, and maybe there are some repressed/difficult feelings in there, and she could maybe support you with those and your perspectives/outlooks on what's going on.........so I'd say give it a go anyway.........it sounds like you're in a real tough place right now, so anything that could even potentially help, hey?

And you say you don't have work stress from not working.........well in some ways I can imagine that might be even harder on you, right?! Afterall some people dealing with similar things might find work a little of a welcome motivator and/or distraction..........but without it........
So do you think you could schedule some (real easy to achieve!!) things into your day...........just some things to try and focus on??

As for showering though.........if you can't, you can't!!
But maybe you could find a way to have 1/2 a shower, or just wash, or just wash your hair..........I'm thinking small steps and small achievements here, where things are so hard for you..........but just whatever you can do, and if possible just a tiny bit more.........
And if you can do any self-care, I know that very little is probably going to feel that good to you right now, but if there is some way/s you can "be good to yourself" or treat yourself??

But glamslam, try not to let yourself be isolated, hey?
Even if that's "just" talking on here, or even "just" hanging on here with us.........
And just a thought.........but........are there any forums anywhere for people/friends/family with the condition your family member has?? Maybe check that out?? Perhaps it could be a help??

But, yes, we're here for you glamslam, and sending you my very best wishes

Alison