i actually just read an article in my womens studies book about this same subject. it said that too often people like they should fall in love. and then when that lust goes away they feel that the love has gone too. rather we should choose who we love. rather than saying how amazingly in love with someone you feel, it should be more like: this person treats me with respect and loves me back, so i choose to love them. reading that has made it a lot easier to deal with those "valleys" that we all come into contact with throughout relationships. because now if i feel like the love is gone i just think to myself how wonderful of a man my boyfriend is and that i choose to love him.