I think that most people don't understand transference in therapy until they have experienced it. Even then, most seem to think that there is something very wrong with feeling in love with someone in a professional relationship where it is made very clear that there is to be no romantic stuff. Therapists lose their licenses for getting romantically involved with clients, afterall. But the very reason why it is so wrong for therapists to use that relationship for their own gratification is because clients have those feelings as part of the process, and are very vulnerable to that being taken advantage of.

Ethical therapists are aware of those feelings and know how to address them therapeutically. The client should not be shamed, or used, but helped to understand where the feelings are coming from and how it all relates to therapeutic goals and other relationships in life.

But it isn't hard to see why some people might panic, be nervous or afraid, or feel bad when those feelings come up. What we need to understand is that there is nothing wrong with having those feelings, and it is a very normal part of the therapy process, which should be discussed with the therapist with the understanding that those feelings will not be acted upon.