Lonesome-I'm really sorry for making that mistake.

Your parents must have been really preoccupied.

I don't know that much about it. People do idealizing as splitting, to protect against the 'bad object', but that is extreme and you've never talk about it like that. Aside from splitting, I it can protect about anger from not being able to be with that person, though misplaced anger via transference, so yes, I think anger at your parents. I was thinking from the perspective of the child self-having those longings and desires for closeness, but not getting them fulfilled, would lend to anger. But it can be repressed when parents deem it unacceptable (and forced to take anxiety medication, for example). So a child is left with that conflict-anger impulses and then having to shut them out, so they'd have to find a way to cope with that conflict. (actually is sort of the psychoanalytic view of OCD).

This article talks about it-maybe you'd be interested.

https://whatashrinkthinks.com/tag/id...psychotherapy/

I do agree with the author here that some degree of idealization is healthy though.

Don't forget, anger could be part of grieving too. The idealization can protect someone from really dealing with past losses.