Mr. S, as far as the Universe is concerned, there is no such thing as the notion of 'too late'... You are right where you're supposed to be at this very moment... Did you know that many individuals who have had Near-Death Experiences have reported experiencing a special & enhanced state of being (state of awareness) in which 'time' (as our physical minds imagined it to be) has ceased to exist? A state of timelessness... Take a few minutes to contemplate the implications of this and how it can affect your current perception of these earthly circumstances...

As a general rule, the more we consciously identify with these physical bodies and the more we root our sense of self and our existence in this temporary human experience which is rife with ever-changing conditions - the more likely we are to feel troubled by our life experiences and to create inner turmoil for ourselves. In this context, you are experiencing the perception that you only had a finite amount of time to 'prove' yourself and to live up to whatever subjective expectations or standards you have identified with - is that accurate? And you also feel like you should be comparing your life experience to those of others, yes? And is the tendency to engage in the latter practice a reflection of deeper-rooted feelings of inadequacy, of not being 'good enough' or measuring up to the perceived 'worth' of others around you?

I know that simply reading this won't change anything but the way out of this is to continue to find ways and to dedicate time & conscious energy to expanding your current state of awareness... Not easy to do I know, but nothing of great value comes easy... The further you expand your state of awareness, the broader your perception gets - and this will ultimately serve to literally pull you out of the mental states which are causing you suffering....

You referred to yourself as 'The Walking Dead' in one of your posts. Strangely enough, there is an aspect of the human experience whereby an individual goes through the experience of feeling like he/she has 'died' inside, only to eventually realize that such a painful and challenging internal state was actually necessary in order to pave the way for one's higher nature (identity) and authentic 'self' could break through and fill the vacancy left by your departing and old sense of identity. The old and limited identity (sense of self) gets replaced with something much that was previously obscured and which is much greater and profound... Yes I absolutely know how unpleasant it is to feel 'dead' inside (I've been there), however I want you to know that this sense of having lost yourself (and your old identity) - that there is a higher purpose behind going through such a state...

You can't revert back to an old/former state of being. You cannot recreate the 'old you'. They key to moving forward and navigating your way through this present 'challenge' that presents itself is to gradually relinquish (let go of) your former conscious identifications, attachments, and thought patterns - the ones which are now contributing to your inner-turmoil and which are now outdated and no longer serve your higher interests... Again this ties into the process of expanding & broadening your state of awareness - because as you accomplish this you will find yourself naturally doing & experiencing what is alluded to just above. Imagine you found yourself experiencing a state of being where you were free from any need to compare yourself to the lives & experiences of others? Imagine you found yourself experience a state of being where you were no longer harshly judging and criticizing yourself for not living up to some imagined standard or expectation that was held in your mind? How would you feel if you were to find yourself freed from those thought-patterns which previously contributed to so much inner-turmoil for you? Like a significant weight and burden had been lifted off your shoulders, right?

You can bring yourself to experience such a state of being... One which will last and not relent... You can absolutely attain this for yourself - what will be required of you is intention, effort, and patience... Hard work isn't so daunting when you are aware that it will pay off and lead to something extremely important and valuable. In this context, the reward is securing your peace of mind, which is priceless...