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Old Apr 26, 2017, 09:14 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
Quote:
But is it okay for me to feel concerned, scared, and sad as bad as I am? I am very serious about her at the moment and finding this out sort of crushed me...
Of course it is a source of worry and concern to learn that a person who you thought for four years had lost interest in drugs turns out to still be interested after all. This would be a source of concern, I would think, no matter how strongly you yourself felt about drugs. Still, it seems that she has not been using. Many people have all sorts of thoughts in a relationship, but do not act upon them.

Quote:
She says she has to keep that from me because she knows how strongly I feel about drugs, so she can not talk about that in front of me.
I see this as a problem. It isn't healthy if important topics are thought to be off limits for discussion in a serious relationship.

I wonder if you would be able to discuss drugs with her nonjudgmentally so as to learn how she honestly thinks and feels and what is on her mind, and so as to help her continue to find ways to make healthy choices. Right now, she seems to believe that she will be judged and perhaps rejected if she talks about it with you.
Hugs from:
Poetryj
Thanks for this!
Patagonia, Poetryj