Thanks for all the replies here,I really appreciate it.I read all of them earlier but wanted to think about it for awhile before responding(I hope nobody minds that I've quoted parts of posts instead of entire posts)
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Originally Posted by TheSadGirl
Do you think of her as a best friend? If so then you should talk to her. Sometimes people are really just wrapped up in their own little world and don't think about it.
If you honestly aren't going to talk, then ask yourself how you will feel if you miss the wedding. At that moment it's not about her or how she will react, it's about how it will make you feel.
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Sometimes people do get wrapped up in their own little world but I just don't really buy that.She talked to me about another friend that decided to not be in the wedding,complained about her,I doubt she's so far in her own world that she didn't think about the fact she was talking to her supposed best friend,she knows she didn't ask me to be in it,she knew she was telling me about it and any true friend should know that would be hurtful.
I think I would probably feel better missing the wedding than showing up and feeling awkward the whole time.I would probably feel bad about not going but not as bad as if I did go.
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Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
Perhaps she is so caught up and talks about it all so much that it hasn't crossed her mind that you and her hubby to be haven't actually met...
Why have you not asked "So when do I meet the lucky guy?"....
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No,she clearly knows we haven't met.Before she met him in person she had told me she would bring him to my house the following weekend so we could meet.It never happened and when I asked her about it she had a vague excuse and then never mentioned me meeting him again.I didn't bring it up anymore,if she wanted me to meet him I would have.She talks about him everytime we talk,tells me all about him,she knows I don't know him.
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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky
I know you said you don't want to.. but I think talking to her really is the best solution. Good luck  |
Yeah,it probably is best but my pride is telling me otherwise right now.
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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Seems to me, it's likely she uses the best friend phrase loosely.
I think she's likely a superficial person that puts on a face for people all the time. Superficial coming from the fact that she met someone online and after not a very long time, she is marrying him. Something's not quite right in all of this.. .
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I am thinking she uses the phrase loosely too,maybe like the people that always give the fake hugs and 'love ya' to everyone they're around.
Maybe she's not even who I always thought she was,I surely never would have pegged her as the type to marry someone she met online and doesn't even inow that well.
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Originally Posted by wolfgaze
This seems important to me... Ruby have you fully healed from the effects of this earlier life experience? Or is there still a sensitivity present within you due to unresolved emotional energy connected to those circumstances?
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Yes there's still a sensitivity present,and she knows this,she has heard many,many times how upsetting it was for me,so to me a true friend wouldn't do the same thing.We have shared our pasts completely with each other,all of our major past hurts,I would never do any of the same things to her that have hurt her so much in the past.So of course it's upsetting to me.
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Maybe all of this with her is because I wasn't very supportive of this relationship when I found out about it.I was concerned that maybe she was being played,that maybe he wasn't who he was claiming to be,maybe he didn't have as much money as he said,asked her if she's ever watched catfish,etc.I questioned all the "great" things she said about him and when some things just didn't add up I tried to encourage her to end the relationship.I was even more concerned when she told me they were going to meet somewhere and told her what I thought,how dangerous it was.When she told me they clicked,they really liked each other and then they were getting married I told her I was happy for her,and excited for her.(that's not how I really feel though to be honest.I think she's making a huge mistake,it's all happening too fast,but I wouldn't tell her that).
So you would think she would have wanted me to meet him right away to prove I was wrong about all my questions and doubts.