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Perna said:
Why's he on YOUR team if he's not playing with you successfully?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">He's a neutral on OUR team, works for both of us. So if I drop him, he drops husband too. But if he and I can't work together, then I don't see another way around it. I just hate the delay dropping him will introduce and I know husband will be really angry. Yes, a problem in our marriage has been that I have a hard time handling his anger at me. Moving forward on ending the marriage has not changed that. Lawyer said be prepared, we may want to drop him, but we might not be able to find anyone else and so be stuck with him.

Thanks JelloFluff for the support in my feeling angry. I'm not good at that and feel very guilty and embarrassed if I get angry, like it is a childish and inappropriate behavior and I should be acting like an adult.

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What part of all of this is about you?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I have been trying to carve out a space where this can be about me but I have felt stymied and thwarted by this team member I cannot get along with. He has made hostile comments to me in front of others and he will not talk to me privately to try to "get on the same page." I feel shamed in front of the others. Sometimes he has made me feel that the divorce process is like getting raped... in front of an audience. Yes, that's probably just me being dramatic, but honestly, sometimes I feel that way. He is supposed to be neutral but I feel he is biased against me for personal reasons that I do not understand (and do not want to at this point).

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you've said in a number of ways that you feel you have done your level best to work with this guy and he has not reciprocated. You feel insulted and even threatened by him. i think that the decision to replace him is a must. It's very reasonable.. and honestly you've tried harder than i would have.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">You are right, Jello. Thanks for those words.

I think I need 2 sessions with T this week. I have so much to get out and discuss. I've never done that before but I'm an inch away from emailing him to ask.