T,

I want to matter more to you. To be in your mind sometimes.

I'm envious of your other clients. I don't like sharing you. I know I'm selfish and possessive and this is immature of me.

I imagine you enjoy other patients more. That you don't like me because I'm not likeable. You've said parts of me are annoying. They're probably big parts.

I secretly like that you consider me one of you long term patients because hospital outpatient clinic likes short term stuff for. But I wish you'd understand that I've only had 48 sessions over three years, and that's only a year of weeks therapy.

Schema therapy in the Netherlands clinical trial is twice a week for two years or so, T...