That doesn't sound strange to me, I am the same, I have been depressed since a little kid, and have had several suicides in my family so it seems to have been an option to some in my family. I am now 56, still here! and doing better most of the time. Psychologist helped a lot more than psychiatrist ever. I do take meds and know I HAVE to. Sometimes I could only hang on a moment at a time but I did, and here I am. That and my animals, they need me and that means everything.