Quote:
Originally Posted by dawgmom
It upset me because I felt her reply minimized my feelings and her 'but'... just made me feel I need to be stronger. Like, my being there was more important than how I feel.
Maybe I'm too sensitive.
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Yes, the useage of the word 'but' does tend to negate (or feels like it negates) the first part of the sentence. A better way of saying it would have been.
Quote:
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it sounds very difficult for you AND I'm glad you're able to be there to help your sister
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My T tries to use 'and' in these cases because both parts of the sentence is true. It does sound like it has been difficult for you and I am sure it is good that you are there to help your sister.
Her 'but' in this case adds to the already negative feelings you are feeling about yourself for having needs around the situation. If this was me... and purely me... I would be sitting there going... why am I so upset, it is her that is dying, I need to be there for her... and so on, completely invalidating myself rather than honoring that it is hard on me because I am losing something ... because... whatever reasons, maybe because my life is being disrupted, maybe I'd be angry because no other family members are putting their lives on hold to help her... whatever they are, why ever they are, they are your feelings and they are valid. AND it is good that your sister has your help at this time in her life.