I'm so sorry for your situation.

Simply from an observation standpoint, your mom seems to be really upset that her kids are grown ups now....What she's saying to you should not be said. She should be showing you her love and support. I would never stand in the way of my kids happiness. That's just wrong.

Seems as if the main problem (and you might think about seeing it this way) is that her depression and your getting married are more of a coincidental occurrence....and so she'll associate the two as a matter of course (plus, as you know, depression messes with our logical thinking). It may be a while before she's able to realize that there isn't a connection, but you should realize that you leaving makes her sad, but not depressed.

Hopefully, the AD will work for her.

Realize that you are not responsible for her getting help. You are not her keeper.

My husband loves me and helped me get to the doctor. My kids were unaware of my depression at the time. It's a sickness, as such, it's great if everyone in the family can show some consideration to the degree that they're comfortable. That's what families do. But it shouldn't be EXPECTED.

So, try to remain sane through all of this. Your happiness is job one. You didn't do this to your mom and whatever love and assistance you want to give is completely a choice.

I know you're scared, I can tell. And of course you feel down when you return from a visit. Let it happen and then let it go. You can't control your emotions. Yup...those couple months without your husband as YOUR support will be tough. Don't get in too deep and remember to discuss with him that you may need to lean on him more heavily during that time.

Give yourself a break from trying to be a superhero....If I was your mom, I would want you to.