I fall into the same category here. I have made some rather unhealthy, risky choices over the years and can attribute them to my bipolar. It is scary to think what I'm capable of when I am not in my right mind. I try to black out those moments in time otherwise I just obsess over them. I avoid certain areas by my work because they will trigger thoughts and feelings that I try desperately to suppress. Those are the walls I put around myself to avoid falling into traps I have previously sprung.

It's one of the many reasons I have been looking for another job for well over a year now. I think a change in environment, one that isn't a haven for illicit activities, would do me some good.