Hello pebbleschnitzel: I'm sorry... we here on PC cannot diagnose you. This is a job for a mental health professional. Our purpose here is to provide one another with support as well as to share information & experiences. From what you wrote it does sound as though you have some mental health related things going on. But whether or not they rise to the level of a mental illness, & what that mental illness might be, are questions you'll need to seek answers to from a mental health professional.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!