Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Owl
The phrasing of the second part of her reply sounds a bit clumsy to me : 'I'm glad you were able to be there for your sister'. I don't know why she is glad, it's your life, and I don't think she should be glad either way. I guess perhaps you would have found it more helpful if she had responded more to your feelings about your sister's state and about her snapping at you, which sounds sounds upsetting?
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Yes. I guess I would have liked to feel more supported. I'm struggling with a lot of situations on my own right now and feel very pressured to remain strong when what I'd really like is some support and help. My sister and brother - both much older - are not in good health. My sister is very ill and I have a lot of the feelings Elio described. They're my only family and I'm scared to death.
This especially hurt because our last therapy session was over a week ago and I ended up walking out when my T said her job was to help me advocate for myself. That wouldn't have bothered me except that we were talking about my states vocational rehabilitation services. I have been working with them and trying to advocate for myself to become employed for over 10 years prior to seeing this T. However, they seemed to constantly change things and so when we started working together she began assisting me.
Then, the T experienced my difficulties for herself and because of my upset over it (not her) she said I blamed her. "So you blame me", she said. I told her no and that we just needed to come up with another plan and that's when she said her job was to help me advocate for myself.
I feel like this is all my fault because we have worked so well together and made so much more progress with VRS than I was able to by myself. I felt like they (mostly) took my case more seriously because I had her support. That's why when they found another hoop for me to jump through I was crushed. But I wanted to get back up and keep going and felt I could with her continued support. I feel like she got one dose of what I've been up against for the last 10 years and she wants to quit.
I'd rather have her help and support achieving my VRS goal than try and discuss my feelings with her. Because before helping me with VRS we tried it with the same results. I can deal with the other situations much better when I feel like my own life is moving toward rather than sharing them with her and feeling worse when I don't feel she gets how much I hurt.
Sorry to ramble but I hope this makes my situation a bit more understandable.