Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
Of course it is a source of worry and concern to learn that a person who you thought for four years had lost interest in drugs turns out to still be interested after all. This would be a source of concern, I would think, no matter how strongly you yourself felt about drugs. Still, it seems that she has not been using. Many people have all sorts of thoughts in a relationship, but do not act upon them.
I see this as a problem. It isn't healthy if important topics are thought to be off limits for discussion in a serious relationship.
I wonder if you would be able to discuss drugs with her nonjudgmentally so as to learn how she honestly thinks and feels and what is on her mind, and so as to help her continue to find ways to make healthy choices. Right now, she seems to believe that she will be
and perhaps rejected if she talks about it with you.
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Thanks for the advice and for taking the time to read this post!
As much as I would want our conversations to consist of me guiding her to keep making good choices, talking about it would be like the conversations she has with her friend which is how much she misses it, and how bad she would want to do it and feel that feeling again. She knows how I feel about it, and me continuing to put pressure and say I would want her to continue doing good by me will seem like I am still trying to control her and I know she will take in a bad way. (She has a very strong character, telling her a concern twice will lead to an argument) and I wouldn't want her to feel that way. I know I've been pretty hard on the issue. And more than anything i want to give her that trust for her to be able to talk to me i just don't know how to react to her "I want to, I miss.." comments.