Quote:
Originally Posted by Elio
Art, why you beating yourself up again for loving, wanting, and needing your T? I know this is your pattern. It seems well, like the problem isn't seeing her weekly or every other week; your loving/wanting/needing her; your missing her... the problem is that you can't say.. hey I'm Art and I love, want, need, miss my T and that is OK, valid, real... and screw whatever internal and external voice that says otherwise... because my T is awesome at helping me and being helped feels great.
And I hope that doesn't rub you the wrong way... if you wanted a supporting hug instead, just ignore me.
ETA - oh, not to say the missing/longing feeling doesn't suck, cuz it sure sucks for me at times. I guess I feel it's part of the bargain that comes with the good feelings, when everything feels great.
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You're right it is a pattern with me huh. And nope, doesn't rub me the wrong way at all it's true it's true it's true. it's because no matter how much work I do on myself i can't sem to get rid of that voice inside my head that says i don't deserve her, i don't deserve her, i don't deserve her and so i need to push her away because she's going to realize i don't deserve her anyway at some point and send me packing . i'm drunk nevermind me id n't really t hink she's going to get rid of met hat easy sbeecause of anything id o. it would htave tobe something major going on with her. i should try saying that elio maybe i will print it out and read it to myself 3 times before i fall asleep tonight
"I am Art and I love, want, need, miss my T and that is OK, valid, real... and screw whatever internal and external voice that says otherwise... because my T is awesome at helping me and being helped feels great!"