Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_chic
Thank you!
My T and I actually talked about this a little bit last session. I was saying how I hold back in relationships because I think the other person is just going to leave eventually anyway. T said that I'm basically surviving on half a relationship which fulfills some needs but doesn't completely nourish me. Because of this I don't really feel that close with any of my friends and T said that I do the same with her. In terms of actually doing something about though I'm really stuck.
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I wish I could give you something more tangible, retro, but I feel like this is an accurate description of me as well. I don't know why my fear of abandonment and rejection is so strong, but it's debilitating at times and influences every relationship that I'm in.
I think where I'm beginning to land on this is that I don't know if any relationship will truly satisfy me until I feel whole within myself. I basically have zero self esteem.
I know I want to discuss the abandonment issues with my T on Saturday. I'd be happy to share what T and I discuss if you'd like. It may be helpful to hear another perspective, especially since your T and mine are so different (psychodynamic vs. humanistic)