I wish I could give you something more tangible, retro, but I feel like this is an accurate description of me as well. I don't know why my fear of abandonment and rejection is so strong, but it's debilitating at times and influences every relationship that I'm in.

I think where I'm beginning to land on this is that I don't know if any relationship will truly satisfy me until I feel whole within myself. I basically have zero self esteem.

I know I want to discuss the abandonment issues with my T on Saturday. I'd be happy to share what T and I discuss if you'd like. It may be helpful to hear another perspective, especially since your T and mine are so different (psychodynamic vs. humanistic)