i just dont think i can handle this...
its too much, i want her back
why does she hate me, what did i do tto diserve this..

to cry, to turn and say hi, with a smile and no one knows
the pain inside, a twisted lie, something of a question
a world in itself, something confused, a person,
many,
lost forever...

how is it possible... to live like this.... to want to die... and to have a conversation going in your head about it... while laughing and conversing with someone external about how the day is nice, and the weather is warm, and should go fishing, to hide the pain and cover up the shame... how is it possible to not be able to show the pain, how is it possible to live like this

im feeling physically sick...

im so tired of this...
im scared.. so tired im scared...
i dont wanna die.. but i know part of me is so tired...
i just need to talk... but my friend is gone...