Welcome DarlaJean.

The parts you have mentioned sound very traumatizing, as pointed out by hopeless in a post above.
Jacky made some great points, too.

I haven't much to add, except: Please give yourself time to adjust and recover.

If you'd like to read here, there's lots of info. There were recently threads about people adjusting to their diagnoses and more. These threads may be a few pages in now.

We have some upbeat threads which give us a place to share some of the constructive things we are doing, no matter how small they seem.

I hope you find info, support and friendship here.


WC