Wow, thanks so much for the great support all. ....

Yes, we have tried to talk many times. The sad thing is, he doesn't see that there is a problem.... he doesn't really understand, it's like sometimes I feel like he sees me as he wants to, not as I REALLY am... We have gone on 'breaks' in the past, (my idea), and I have always gone back, I have become very attached to his kids (5 and 7 years old), partly I had a need to be part of a "family" (my kids are 21 and 19) -- but I just realize now that we are too different for it to work. Also he can be very possessive and controlling, which I can't tolerate. Never an easy decision, but there comes a point, as a good friend said to me, "sometimes it's better to be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong reasons".